Don’t do it. If you’re a sentient being (of voting age), lean Republican,  and don’t fall in the angry white undereducated demographic, then this blog is for you. (If  you are angry, white and undereducated and CAN READ THESE WORDS, I’ll let you in on a secret: The Illuminati have moved this year’s voting date to the third Tuesday in November and have eliminated early voting. Just  head to the polls on November 15. Know that the country will thank you for your service.

Yes, I know some of you loyal, party-over-country Republicans consider it rational to support Trump over Hillary. She’s Hillary freaking Clinton. Throw her in jail. Second Amendment her! She’s Bill’s wife. She enabled his creature habits. She’s got so much Benghazi-emails-Whitewater-lying-as-a-pastime baggage just the overweight charges could wipe out half her Foundation-created fortune.

And you’ve got a billionaire outsider, someone who feels his pain, a man-of-the-poll-tested-people, someone who understands the issues because he’s been on both sides of so many, who promises to shake things up so only he can try to put everything back together again. And if he can’t, he’s someone who can blame all the insiders and media who are the ones really responsible.  He speaks his mind and rarely minds what he speaks, whether through tweet or retweet or self-declared great speeches and huge interviews. Enjoy!

Yet, here’s the deal.

Hillary’s moral blindspot compass may point south far too often for your tastes, but Trump has yet to even find his. Or care.  PolitiFact, a nonpartisan project of the Tampa Bay Times and related news organizations, gave Trump its 2015 Lie of The Year prize. It also reported that  his campaign lies trumped all other candidates’ lies combined.

In fact, people are saying  that if Trump’s lies were counted as part of our foreign trade, the U.S. would have a HUGE trade surplus. Amazing. You should check that. Believe me; it’s possible. Really credible people who  have never tried to reduce  crime or terrorism  or even negotiate any trade deals are saying that. Somewhere.

Admit it. What the country really needs is a F.T.C-like truth-in-packaging law that applies to presidential candidates. Sure, that might mean we might end up with no one qualifying, but is that really so bad?  It sure is a lot easier to  support no one’s ideas other than your own.

Bottom line? At least with Hillary you can reasonably approximate what  you’ll get. Hillary is more likely to make a deposit on your America and return it for recycling. Trump’s more likely to trade America in for all of the best parts of Russia, North Korea and Turkey.

I get it: Donald is Snapple. You get the peach tea, but you also get the fun sayings on the bottle cap. Who cares if they’re true or relevant? Hillary is Coke Zero. Dull. And when she tries to make a point it too often seems like we’re watching someone playing her in a Saturday Night skit.

But Trump is really acting in his own reality show. Don’t let it become  our country’s.

 

What Hillary Must Do To Win

by Jeff Pozmantier July 28, 2016

Oh Hillary oh Hillary, has Trumpism overtaken you? How can you trail this vainglorious bigot in most of the latest polls? Posh on the convention bounce excuse. Really? After that convention? How can you be behind this bullying, infantile cretin? Someone whose major presidential qualification appears to be his talent for casual insults and lying? Yes, lying. Check PolitFact. […]

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Idiotic Word Buffets

by Jeff Pozmantier June 16, 2016

Donald Trump eats at his own idiotic word buffet  almost every twitter hour. Nine million plus soak up his tweeting scraps and his dog whistle to bigots, racists, nativists, conspiracy-theorists and lovers of other us-versus- them- ists: Make America great again!  Ah, so how do we do that exactly? Who is really at fault for his followers’  personal travails? […]

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A Message To My Republican Friends

by Jeff Pozmantier June 4, 2016

No mas. I’d like to think that if I was faced with a democratic Trump candidate — and who really knows if he is or isn’t? —I would seriously consider a Republican candidate whose minimal qualification was that he/she wasn’t unhinged. Forget the racism and bigotry. This man is a real Goldwater Daisy Girl ad risk. […]

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When Did Republicans Lose Their Party?

by Jeff Pozmantier May 24, 2016

Was it when Republican party leaders increasingly viewed negotiating as a zero sum game played against a gang of Democratic devils and their anti-American leaders who seemed bent on destroying their Republican way of life? Or was it when Ted Cruz showed the way? His way. Cruz certainly proved how much better it was to engage in futile causes. Who can ever forget […]

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This Year Proves Your Vote Really Doesn’t Matter

by Jeff Pozmantier April 11, 2016

Trust me on this. Your vote for President of our disunited red, blue and purple states — an office real estate moguls used to just spend their dollars buying, not trying to serve — doesn’t matter if you live anywhere other than a battleground state. I live in Texas. But it would be the same story if I lived in New […]

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Donald Trump Is President

by Jeff Pozmantier February 29, 2016

The people spoke. At least the smart ones in the big electoral states did. New York and California are such losers. They didn’t want me, so why should I want them? First day in office, they’re out. We’ll be better off  with 48 states anyway. And tell me why  I have to wait until January to begin […]

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Top Seven Things You Don’t Need To Know Before You Die

by Jeff Pozmantier January 2, 2016

Create lists. Then create lists of lists. Why? Just do it because I said so and stop questioning everything. You’ll live a happier life. If you must know — and I assume you must, because you’ve read this far —  it’s not because  lists of lists  help you get organized. Frankly, if you’re that disorganized, you’ll probably lose your […]

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Elections, Marriage, Heart Attacks, Sermons, Judaism, Anniversaries, Iran, And Israeli-Palestinian Leadership

by Jeff Pozmantier November 2, 2015

I know it’s been too long. Have you missed me? Oh, there’s no shame in admitting it. But let’s get down to important business — mine, not yours. The extra hour of morning daylight has invigorated by invigorating senses. Or something like that. It’s time to vote  for Houston’s next mayor. It’s also time to vote against anyone conflating supporting […]

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One Strong Answer To The Violence (And It’s Not To Stab, Shoot, Blame, Make A Speech, Or Call For A New Coalition)

by Jeff Pozmantier October 15, 2015

The senseless, random violence within Israel and the West Bank is truly appalling. The abysmal lack of leadership is truly enduring. What Hand in Hand schools are doing — partially in response to the violence, but entirely because it is Hand in Hand’s mission — is truly inspiring.  I would not normally relay an organizational p.r. piece. But today, with Israelis and Palestinians […]

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