Don’t do it. If you’re a sentient being (of voting age), lean Republican,  and don’t fall in the angry white undereducated demographic, then this blog is for you. (If  you are angry, white and undereducated and CAN READ THESE WORDS, I’ll let you in on a secret: The Illuminati have moved this year’s voting date to the third Tuesday in November and have eliminated early voting. Just  head to the polls on November 15. Know that the country will thank you for your service.

Yes, I know some of you loyal, party-over-country Republicans consider it rational to support Trump over Hillary. She’s Hillary freaking Clinton. Throw her in jail. Second Amendment her! She’s Bill’s wife. She enabled his creature habits. She’s got so much Benghazi-emails-Whitewater-lying-as-a-pastime baggage just the overweight charges could wipe out half her Foundation-created fortune.

And you’ve got a billionaire outsider, someone who feels his pain, a man-of-the-poll-tested-people, someone who understands the issues because he’s been on both sides of so many, who promises to shake things up so only he can try to put everything back together again. And if he can’t, he’s someone who can blame all the insiders and media who are the ones really responsible.  He speaks his mind and rarely minds what he speaks, whether through tweet or retweet or self-declared great speeches and huge interviews. Enjoy!

Yet, here’s the deal.

Hillary’s moral blindspot compass may point south far too often for your tastes, but Trump has yet to even find his. Or care.  PolitiFact, a nonpartisan project of the Tampa Bay Times and related news organizations, gave Trump its 2015 Lie of The Year prize. It also reported that  his campaign lies trumped all other candidates’ lies combined.

In fact, people are saying  that if Trump’s lies were counted as part of our foreign trade, the U.S. would have a HUGE trade surplus. Amazing. You should check that. Believe me; it’s possible. Really credible people who  have never tried to reduce  crime or terrorism  or even negotiate any trade deals are saying that. Somewhere.

Admit it. What the country really needs is a F.T.C-like truth-in-packaging law that applies to presidential candidates. Sure, that might mean we might end up with no one qualifying, but is that really so bad?  It sure is a lot easier to  support no one’s ideas other than your own.

Bottom line? At least with Hillary you can reasonably approximate what  you’ll get. Hillary is more likely to make a deposit on your America and return it for recycling. Trump’s more likely to trade America in for all of the best parts of Russia, North Korea and Turkey.

I get it: Donald is Snapple. You get the peach tea, but you also get the fun sayings on the bottle cap. Who cares if they’re true or relevant? Hillary is Coke Zero. Dull. And when she tries to make a point it too often seems like we’re watching someone playing her in a Saturday Night skit.

But Trump is really acting in his own reality show. Don’t let it become  our country’s.

 

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