The problem with Part 2′s is that anyone who didn’t read Part 1 could be lost. No not a ‘never- asks -for- directions- just -keep- turning -right -and- look- for- the -12 -story- black -or- was- it- 11- stories -and gray- building?’ kind of lost, but more like a “What’s missing?” confusion.
Ok. That was a long sentence. Let’s go back. What I’m trying to say is this: You’ll be able to follow Part 2 better than virtually any part of your last really good argument with a friend or (what we in the politically correct professions call) your significant other, and especially more than a New York Times’ story that has been eviscerated so much by local papers that it’s hard to identify all of the vote fraud, drone attack, suicide bomber, Ponzi-scheming and oil spill bad guys. (Memo to Amy and Jenni: Local papers are those soon to be ancient compendiums of car accidents, cartoons, and east end murders that your dad now is able to speed read and supplement with WikiLeaks cables and internet sites other than Facebook, Yahoo and Twitter.)
If you missed Part 1 all you need to know is that Middle East participants Hamas, Fatah and Tzipi Livni didn’t make it to Part 2 because they were Part 1 participants. The recap? Hamas needs to renounce violence as a strategic tactic, Fatah needs to meet with Israel and stop talking about NOT talking, and Livni needs to join Netanyahu’s Gilligan’s Island coalition, currently marooned on Israel island. We’ll let Livni play the professor to Netanyahu’s Captain. (Avigdor Lieberman rightfully earned the Gilligan role many verbal shipwrecks ago.)
Here are today’s Resolution players:
Avigdor Lieberman — Avigdor, Israel’s long national nightmare, isn’t over. Also known as Uncle Avi, that family member you wish you didn’t have to invite to the seder and who always manages to get the longest Haggadah speaking parts with the most unpronounceable Kings, he is truly Israel’s first free agent Foreign Minister for hire. Right now that employer appears to only be the Israel Beitneinu Party not the government of Israel.
Lieberman doesn’t trouble himself with reflecting his government’s position, if he personally disagrees. There are Israel’s goals and then there are Lieberman’s goals. When their paths don’t intersect, Lieberman just freelances. ( Lieberman is currently under investigation for some of that freelancing. According to a recent Haaretz article, he may soon be indicted for the money laundering, fraud, and breach of trust trifecta. )
If Lieberman is not undiplomatically demanding that Turkey apologize for their own country’s Gaza flotilla deaths, while at the same time Israeli negotiators are delicately trying to work out a face-saving apology formula to repair that strategically important relationship, he is lashing out at Palestinian leaders and the two state plan Israel’s government supports. (Maybe he’ll be off to the U.N. again soon to talk about why Israel’s policies are really not as good as his own policies. Policies he’s carefully worked on with Bruce Wayne and Israel Beitneinu allies in their secret Beitneinu Bat Cave.)
Israel rightly worries about a possible Iranian nuclear bomb. Think of Lieberman as a (not so) complementary domestic threat. While he may appear like a ‘loose cannon,’ he’s actually closer to a tactical nuke, a brilliant politician taking full advantage of his coalition position to run unholstered through the Israeli coalition system, always at the ready to explode and reak havoc. (Lieberman is like the guy everyone dares to “streak” through campus. You’re just never sure which campus. While everyone else is debating the merits and talking about the ‘where’s and the when’s,’ he’s already halfway across. Note: That was definitely not me running past the Westbury Square ice cream shop on May 12, 1974 at about 1:15. It only looked like it might have been me. So don’t email me. Let’s stick to Lieberman.)
So how’s this for Avigdor’s 2011 resolution? In 2011, Uncle Avi should resolve to skip my and your seder, reverse the order of his “shoot, aim, ready” proclivities, stop watching Rambo reruns and join with his coalition team members in working to implement the policies of the elected coalition leadership. Of course, the probabilities of all of this happening aren’t that high, so that moves Israeli leader Benjamin Netanyahu’s first 2011 resolution almost to the top of the resolution stack.
Benjamin Netanyahu: Yes, you have to start backwards and get the coalition changed before you can go forward and move into successful peace negotiations that are approved by your coalition and the Israeli people. I know starting internally with coalition member changes before you proceed externally to peace talks may seem to make as much sense as Israel building settlements on land it plans to give back and the Palestinian leadership refusing to call the country it is negotiating with what it is — a Jewish state. But trust me on this.
To get to Numero Aleph, peace in our time, not peace sometime when the majority of the ultra-Orthodox join the work force and global cooling begins — these two are clearly linked since our ultra-Orthodox friends are unlikely to start working until Hell freezes over — we definitely need to ‘double down’ on peace talks. The coalition needs to bring Livni’s more moderate Kadima Party in, and move Israel Beitneinu’s ”me first” Party, out.
I know that won’t be easy. Livni is more the ‘I know better uncompromising’ type rather than the sycophantic ‘Republican Party all vote yes or no together’ type, but she at least thinks strategically and supports the basic Israeli approach of working toward a two state solution. She may question your settlements tactics and whether you are truly sincere about about negotiating a two state deal with the Palestinians. However, if she ever wants to play more of a Ben Gurion role than an uncompromising, and, at times, unstatesmanlike loyal opposition role, now is the time for her to get into a position to lead.
Both Netanyahu and Livni will need to make difficult compromises with each other on roles and responsibilities. If Kadima and Likud can’t figure out how to do what is so clearly in Israel’s interest, prior to peace negotiations with the Palestinians, then Israel risks more than a peace deal. It also risks me having to run this same column next year and for many years after that.
You both have been warned.
In Part 3, we’ll focus on various pro-Israel support groups and some of their leaders, the local Jewish newspaper, and my own personal 2011 Israel-related resolutions, one of which is a carryover from 2008, 2009 and 2010. (Note to readers: Since my wife reads these a few days after I publish them she’ll be getting a Janet-only version that just might include one less organization than the original version. All in the interest of family and organizational bliss. I trust that none of you are fans of WikiLeaks. If you are, we’ll have to negotiate your right of Bumpspot return.
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So how do you get them to do what needs to be done?
hopefully by having more and more people raising the need to do it and netanyahu and livni finally realizing it