Was it when Republican party leaders increasingly viewed negotiating as a zero sum game played against a gang of Democratic devils and their anti-American leaders who seemed bent on destroying their Republican way of life?

Or was it when Ted Cruz showed the way? His way.

Cruz certainly proved how much better it was to engage in futile causes. Who can ever forget him bravely holding  his personal Maginot Line by reading Green Eggs and Ham on the Senate floor?  So what if his only significant achievement was alienating most of his fellow Republicans? At least he demonstrated his steadfast resolve to not  actually achieve something. Or smile. And his constipated scowl became iconic.

Or was it when insurgent Tea Party squatters took over the anti-government wing of the Republican party and mobilized to throw out everyone with too much government experience, Republicans included?

Shockingly, the Teaites offered no tea, scones or even light refreshments — just carefully honed opposition to most things federal government. Their agenda was to oppose. Negotiations were seen as the province of traitors. And the evil ones on the right side of the aisle had to go down just as fast and as hard as those on the left.

Or did the loss of the party really begin (or officially signify the end) when the Republican presidential candidates started delivering their poll-tested talking points and found that what the primary voters really wanted was anyone but them? Someone who could make America great just by talking about making America great. A billionaire beholden to no one, save his own ego, who could be anyone they wanted him to be.  Someone who could protect them from foreign products and foreigners. Someone to tuck them in at night with grand fairy tale stories — a presidential mommy and daddy. Yes, they wanted America’s hirsute knight in Republican party armor  to enter stage right or left or right down the middle and to offer word dumps devoid of any real meaning, as long as he promised what they wanted to hear.

Yes, that was officially when the party that many Republicans thought wasn’t conservative and principled enough delivered forth someone who appears to be officially  neither.

And this change is HUGE!

And why not?

If a high school chemistry teacher can, without the knowledge of his DEA agent brother-in-law, solve his medical cost issues by manufacturing hundreds of millions of dollars of blue meth along with his former high school school student, and then protect his loot by stabbing, shooting and bombing dozens of his enemies, then why can’t a reality show host who celebrates his love of the (legal) Hispanic culture by eating a taco bowl on Cinco de Mayo, and who continuously mines a seemingly inexhaustible supply of bipartisan opponents to tweet insults about, become President?

The man has never met an issue he couldn’t reverse. And he certainly knows how to cement the racist and bigot vote and how to reach out to women — at least the ones he rates as  9’s and 10’s. Ignore the  trivial anti-women bunk that the dishonest media loves to dig up. Trump had no idea he’d ever be auditioning for  presidential man-child when he genuflected on several Howard Stern shows. How could his participation in a silly “boobs or flat chick” contest  be held against him? Anti-misogynist voters should just ignore the recent “failing” NY Times’ article that reviewed various gradations of his serial misogyny. All of the Times’ female reporters are too dumb and ugly to understand complex human to cretin interactions. Pro-misogynists should focus on his recent Megyn Kelly interview. Even journalistic “bimbos” come back for more.

Maybe we should thank our forefathers for their ancient wisdom.

If they had mistakenly given us a pure democracy, things would be so boring. No Donald, Bernie or Clintonians. They didn’t want us to pick the wrong male. And they put electors in charge just in case we, the people, picked the wrong man.  Imagine where we’d all be today if we  all had to  gather at Starbuck’s to make decisions on  fighting wars, raising debt ceilings, building walls, fining the guy who cuts in the long line merging on the freeway, qualifying bathroom users, tweeting insults to Megyn Kelly, and other critical issues.

In our representative democracy, we get to elect politicians to play adults and men-and-women children.  They get to make decisions like these on our behalf. Except this is the year many of our Republican representatives of democracy didn’t get the message. They thought we’d like them better if they moved from selling us on their decision making ability to selling us on their ability to compete in the World Wrestling Federation’s interview segments.

Offering detailed plans and ideas is so pre-Twitter generation.

But let’s get back to the millions of Republicans who are now planning to pretend that this election reality show isn’t a danger to representative democracy. For those of you who feel comfortable choosing  a billionaire whose claims to fame this political season include his implied penis size, building HUGE walls paid for by Mexico, jailing women who seek abortions, threatening U.S. debt defaults, offering plans to raise and lower taxes on the rich and for  the federal government to both raise and retain the current minimum wage (before he said that states should make those decisions), tweeting bigoted and misogynistic insults, offering slogans in lieu of specific plans, and attaching short epithets to political rivals, please consider a people inversion to another country, so the rest of us don’t have to.

Now stop here if you’re not yet considering that trip. You’ll only be disappointed to learn that something like bragging about penis size isn’t a key presidential qualification and hasn’t been one since the Johnson presidency. And he only did it on secret tape recordings that it now turns out weren’t so secret.

I warned you. STOP HERE!

You did stop, right?

Now for my reliably angry and disappointed Anti-Obama party (aka Republican Party) readers: Surprise! Donald Trump is your party’s wholly unqualified candidate to be President of the United States.  Yet, there is still reason for you to have hope: It would be silly to count him out in a year when qualifications are irrelevant and pandering to fear  and simple answers matter. (Clarification: Simple Answers Matter has no affiliation with Black Lives Matter or with intelligent voting.) Trump’s GREAT, HUGE, UNBELIEVABLE  business and television career, and know-nothing brand of politics and insults only strengthen his strong guy appeal. And the more likely you are to respond to the emailed wire transfer request from your distant relative who was robbed overseas and is reaching out to you because you are so near and dear to her, the easier it is to gravitate toward someone who panders to your instinctive blame-the-politicians-for-everything  grievances. (Why, oh why, didn’t the Republican Party stand up for another season of American Idol and The Good Wife?)

At times, Trump makes so many wildly incorrect statements (including referencing positions he never took), with so many borderline and not-so- borderline racist, bigoted, misogynistic, anti-immigration statements, it’s hard to believe anyone other than uneducated, racist, bigoted, misogynistic, nativists could be supporters.

Unfortunately, this now seems to be the  new Republican party.



Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: